The life of a southern lawyer

I have been wondering over the last few days about how people respond and interact with each other, both on-line and in real life. Several people have raised the issue of civility on this website in the advice line section and many responses seem to indicate alot of people believe the world in general is becoming an increasing uncivil place. I have to agree, but are you part of the problem or part of the solution? I will admit to being both, depending on the day of the week, my mood etc.

When was the last time you let cars out of side streets/parking lots pull out when stuck in traffic ? How often have you forced yourself in traffic at the risk of a traffic accident? Allow a merge on the highway vs. force a merge?

Ever been in the self check line at a store and had the person in front of you not understand how it works? Did you wait and stare impatiently, maybe even make comments about them? Or did you offer to help?

I am old enough to have be "brought up right" but todays faster pace of life makes it easier to be a jerk than to be nice. If you are nice to a stranger, that person is likely to be suspicious of your motives, or so we have come to think. I know in my own life I am making the effort to be nice, to allow cars to merge, to help people with doors, self checks and in any other way I can. If we all did that just once in a while it can make a difference.

And as far as on-line goes - I was taught if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything.

This is a post from my other blog and is regarding discussion boards. After I thought about it a while I decided it applies outside of that website as well, so Please read questions on discussion boards prior to responding.

Does anyone actually read the "advice question" prior to responding?
Jul 22, 2006 9:01 am 8 Views
Over the past few days I have been playing around with the features of this site. I have posted a poll (see below) and posted several "advice questions". The non-serious question regarding what ypes of porn women like got the most on topic responses.The others have gotten all kinds of wierd respones that seem to indicate people are not reading the questions.

Example:

Q. I am looking to see if there is any interest in a general information column on immigration information for fiances and spouses. Comments?

Now that seems straight forward to me. I was attempting to figure out if I wrote about the process would there be any interest in a column/article or would I be wasting my time.

Here are two of the responses I got:

Are you looking for a mail-order bride?Just type mail-order bride and you get a shit load of catalogs of Ladies from various country's. Good luck! There is no guarantee for love.


and part of another:

Oh, my goodness! PLEASE be careful in this endeavor!!! Particularly on this website! You are lonely, and vulnerable due to your former spouse’s infidelity. There are people that are just waiting to swoop in and take total and complete advantage of you and people like you. There is a fella who blogs on this site that is about my age and has never been involved with a woman before---and I mean he has never evenkissed a woman before. It just so happens that he suffers from Obsession-Compulsive Disorder and some sort of social/socializationdisorder. He was scammed pretty darn good via this site. People tried to warn him and he was incensed and insulted until the poor guy, who works as an unskilled temporary laborer, was sending money, money and more money and nobodyever showed up.

I am sure they meant well and wanted to warn me of the danger of mail order brided, but what the hell? I did not even come close to asking for advice on how to find a mail order bride! Now, in fairness to the two quoted above, their responses were not the only two like that, but they made for good examples.

Anyway, enough ranting for the week. Hope all is well with you and yours.

One night sitting around drinking and swapping lies a respected source of wisdom declared “Boys, think about it. Your worst piece of ass was pretty good at the time”. For many years I truly believed that, but sadly it is not true. I have got to tell you that even for a guy there is such a thing as bad sex.

Recently, within the last 12 months, I was with a person who was just horrible. She did everything she could to pull my penis off in her version of a handjob. She then attempted to give a blowjob. I was ready for the change, thinking thanking my lucky stars she had turned me loose. I was wrong. She was all suction and teeth, no moisture – I swear I ended up with friction burns!

When we finally did have sex it was just awful. I spent the entire time wondering how long she would stay. I did everything I could think of to cum, but never did. After what seemed like forever I “faked it”. I am not kidding. I was never so happy to have someone leave I my life. It took a little while to get her to understand that I was not interested after that. I am sure she considers me a worthless shit for what amounts to a hit it and run, but how do you tell someone that you would rather use sandpaper on yourself than to let them near you again? Any suggestions?

To start off, I have to say that I am proud to be an attorney.

Having said that, I seldom tell people what I do for a living in a social setting. I am sure it is the same with doctors, tradesmen and the like, but every time someone finds out what I do for a living I get to hear all about what ever legal trouble that person may have and get hit up for free advice, OR I get to listen to tirades against attorneys and the law. Either way it kills a good mood.

For the record, I do not go out to hear everyone’s legal troubles and give free advice. NEW FLASH - I get paid to give advice, so why would I give it free to a stranger?! So please don't ask and please don't be offended when I give you my card and tell you call me for an appointment. I am out to have a good time and forget about my day, not to drum up business.

The other side is the almost constant criticism of what the legal profession. I will freely admit there are problems and it can be nasty, but guess what - not once has a client ever told me "I don't care if I win and don't want to do whatever it takes. Just let them have it all” I am normally asked to do whatever I can to win and get the most from the other side. I have had clients ask me to serve their spouses with divorce on Christmas morning, thanksgiving, their birthday, wedding anniversary etc. I have yet to do any of that. I do fight hard, and I can be very mean and difficult and even nasty in a trial, but it is what my clients want me to do.

For those of you who believe in "tort reform" because the greedy trial lawyers are getting rich and doctors can't afford insurance and companies are going broke I say Fuck you. That’s right fuck you; you have no idea what you are talking about. Come talk to me when your daughter gets killed by a doctor gives her the wrong medication or cuts off your good leg my mistake, the insurance companies have convinced the state to cap damages at $250,000.00.

In all of the states that have passed damage caps, no insurance premiums for doctors have gone down - just the opposite. The dirty secret is that insurance companies make money. period.

This past weekend has been a little wild. Went out Friday to my normal hangout only to watch a bartender/friend of mine get ticked off and pick a fight with his on again off again girl friend. The both got canned after he threw a glass at her. What a dumb ass.

Later another friend invited some of his female buddies to come up and join us, which was ok by me. During the evening one of them was getting real friendly and had her hand on my knee so I am thinking it is looking good. As the night went on her hand moved up until she was squeezing and rubbing my crotch - which was ok by me, but then she started talking about how much she loved her husband. HUH!? WHAT THE FUCK?! You love your husband but you are out on Friday night giving a stranger a rub? Makes no sense to me. No matter how drunk I was and how good it felt to have my cock rubbed that way I could not go through with it. I guess I still have a conscience after all. DAMN.

I Could have used a good rub and tug. Maybe next time.

This has been a long week. I have spent countless hours in depostions, which is lawyer speak for boring sessions listening to people lie under oath. Imagine being in a room with 4 attorneys and thier clients for two days discussing the ins and outs of buying and selling a house. I wanted to jump off a building! Found out last night there is already trouble in paradise from the trial on monday over custody - the baby daddies parents are not happy and have bene calling my client. Looks like we will press criminal charges. These kids need to understand that they will have the next 19 years or so together until the child reaches 21 so they better get along or have a lot money for liars, I mean lawyers.

Today one of my Immigration clients decided he did not need to come to court - too bad for him, the judge ordered him deported.

To make the days more bearable I went to my normal spot and had quite a few drinks while chatting up the ladies. For the most part it was entertaining. I have not yet convinced myself to take the next step and have one night stands even though it seems it is pretty easy to do. Maybe I am crazy or too hung up on the ex. I do not know. I am think I am ready for that, but every time I do fuck someone I feel creepy afterwards. Anyway maybe I should sign off now.

Today started out good. Had a trial over the custody of a child, but the other attorney and his client, the father, seem to have forgotten about it. Gotta say that is a first for me. The judge was pretty ticked, but my client was happy as hell - got everything she wanted since the father didn't show up. Then it was back to the office where it never ceases to amaze me at what kinds of things people can get into.

Later, went to my normal hang out and did my best to drink myself to oblivion. Not many females there tonight, except for a cute couple that decided to make out in a booth and they late decide to have sex in the bathroom. Just how drunk do you have to be to decide the bathroom floor is a good place to have sex?

I ended up staying a lot later than intended, but the show was entertaining and the drinks were free. (It pays to beat a DUI charge for the bartender).
(written 07-10-06)

A normal Saturday for me. Spent some time in the pool and then fired up the grill to cook some jerk chicken while having a few cold drinks (ok maybe more than a few) with Jimmy Buffett singing just for me. Plan to spend the rest of the evening around my place seeing what kind of trouble I can stay out of. (written on 07-08-06)

Not sure how this is going to work, but only time will tell. Today was a long day at work, not much got done and I didn't feel like doing a lot of anything. Will see how the weekend goes.
(written on 07-07-06)